Spirituality

(Before you read I must note that I have respect for other people's beliefs and have no intent on bashing anyone's view on religion or any type of spirituality or absence of spirituality)

I can recall many times that I encountered different religious people throughout my life. I grew up in an evangelical household 'till I was around 10 years old. My family has always had set views of God and Religion, but even as a little girl I was never really satisfied with just that. I had this gut feeling that there had to be more to "God" than what a 2000 year old book had to say about it. I always had this fear that if I ventured out of that belief system, then I would go to hell. But, as I got older I decided to do my own research on several religions (although I still had this hell fear). I learned a bit on different Christian groups such as Jehovah's Witnesses, Methodists, Baptists, Anglicans; I did a bit of research on Catholicism, Hindu, Buddhism, Judaism, and so forth. I didn't learn much from each religion, just a few basics. I learned that most of these religions had basic similarities, "Love God, Love yourself, Respect yourself and others, Live a holy life" The messages were so clear, just in different guidelines.

I'll admit, there were indeed times that I went back to Evangelism a few times (Most recently summer of 2007), but I always felt something was missing. I realized that in my perspective the issue of "God" wasn't the problem, but how God was personified in various religious views. What I learned in my experience is that I can't commit to the views of religion. I can commit to those simple guides that religion offers, but the strict guidelines just didn't fit my lifestyle or my personal beliefs. But at the same time, I had my questions as to who or what "God" is, or even if "God" exists. This is where Agnosticism came to play in my life. I didn't want to be a full blown atheist and I didn't want to be a full blown theist. I felt that my beliefs didn't sit well with both ideologies, kind of like they drifted to the side. Then, I did a little research on Agnosticism; and finally something sat well with me. Agnosticism acknowledges that there's a possibility for theists as well as atheists to be right/wrong; Agnosticism acknowledges every possibility of anything and everything in terms of the mortality of us as human beings. Perhaps we may solve the puzzle of God, perhaps not, but I accept it either way and don't limit the possibilities by lack of evidence or what a religious doctrine has to say. But at the same time, I respect that others have their beliefs, I respect that others have different views on things and are probably reading this blog and saying, "What the heck is wrong with this girl?" lol, but hey it's all good, whatever your beliefs are, Theist or Atheist, whatever you feel most comfortable with is all that matters.