Love Yourself

As I sit here on my computer on this fine, brisk morning, I stumble upon a video by Chris Crocker (If anyone doesn't know who she is, she's the infamous Britney Spears fan). The video is entitled "Codependency"; and quite frankly, it speaks to me. Chris addressed the issue on how some women can't stand to be by themselves and how they're constantly dating people for the sake of not being alone. I agree wholeheartedly that this is indeed an issue amongst young women (I'll admit that at one point in my life I had this issue as well). There's a need within all us women to have someone special by our side, but at what cost ladies? Temporary psychological happiness? What if he leaves you? For the physical needs? What if he gives you AIDS?

Oh man, I always used to have a boyfriend. I had to make sure that when I broke up with someone, I would have someone to fall back on. It was like a rebound game hoping that one of these guys would catch me and hold me tight forever. I used to put up with so much shit from these guys, forgive them for things that I know I shouldn't stand for, just to have someone around. Well, lo and behold, after such a game I realized that all these guys bailed on me. I realized then that before I can commit to someone, I have to learn to love myself first. I have to spend time with myself, learn from myself, and be with myself and only myself for a time. And it's funny, because last summer I followed this process and became much happier and content with myself. I stayed single for a while until an ex of mine wanted a second chance. I took the chance thinking that perhaps things will be different; but alas, things were worse than ever. Only this time, I took the initiative to end the relationship; Because I learned that I didn't have to put up with people's selfish antics just so that I won't be alone. I deserve to have someone that'll be truthful to me, and include me in their "circle", not to have me there like a china doll in a mahogany dresser. Now I'd much rather be alone than with someone that doesn't make me happy.

For the time being, I'm enjoying being by myself, with myself, loving myself. This is exactly what every woman should do, that is, until a prince charming walks into your life.